why bother

I feel like screaming...he doesn't care, he's so emotionally distant, callous, cruel, hateful, unloving, silent tears once again stream down my face..another night of crying myself to sleep....it has become pure TORTURE... And you want to know what the sad thing is...right this very minute, he is sitting not even one yard away...at the kitchen table, next to me... I can't take another minute of biting my lip, pretending everything is okay, I'm doing fine, and no, I don't hurt at all... When I feel like he's twisting a knife on the inside, totally indifferent to the pain he is causing.. Why should I even bother anymore?! I hurt inside and out. I don't want to see anyone, go anywhere, or do anything. My hobbies are no longer something I care about. He doesn't love me anymore... WHy bother loving him, it hurts too much....