Violated
Pummeled.
Trust violated.
Kicked in the gut, life yanked out of me.
Can't breathe, I'm in the underworld, I
inhale fire.
Lies dissolving my heart like
acid on flesh.
Trust is gone, I've been
dropped... falling... falling...
YOU, my
hero, have violated our sacred bond of trust... I feel discarded, like garbage,
into the realm of the valueless, has-beens, used, useless....
My spirit dulled from color to black and white, my
future from a bright pathway of sunshine and possibilities... to a horrid
massive creaking metal door slamming shut my dreams with you.
I trusted you to be a good man, honest and forthright.
I trusted you that even if you were scared,
uncomfortable or uncertain, you'd sit in the fire, handle your shit, come to me.
I trusted you to speak up, ask for what you
wanted, co create a life that worked for us.
I f'ing bragged about you! How humiliating...
Livid, disgusted, horrified... and now disheartened
that you are not as strong as I thought you were, not as bold, courageous, kind
or caring as I thought you were... like finding out OZ from behind the curtain,
or seeing a noble fireman rescue a cat from a tree, only to see him kick a dog
to the curb as he leaves...
You were my
whole life, we were a team.
You buoyed me
up, the banks of my river, the pole to my flag, the arms around me so I would
never fall, the belief that come what may, you'd be there... and you've lied,
broken trust and even cheated... you have let me down, my heart, my soul. How
could you?
How could I be so stupid to live
in hope and fantasy and not see the reality of you? Perhaps I loved your
potential, who you could be, but who you aren't. Perhaps I lived in avoidance
and unwillingness to trust my instincts.
What's miraculous is that through all this pain, I've cried and
fumed, yet deepened my Self Love, forgiven myself where I was in denial and
strengthened my trust in my feminine intuition.
...can I ever trust you again... I don't know. I have forgiven, yet I
have not forgotten.
You haven't stepped up.
Breaking trust is unacceptable.
Saying sorry isn't enough.
Making it better through your own development as a man is the only
possibility.
Making it better by me
learning how I was a part of creating this, too.
Anything is possible.
I release
all judgment, let the past go.
I bask in
the pure awareness of what I'm worth and what's possible.
I welcome the
growth required for us to begin again.
The
choice is yours.
Anonymous
I wonder if this is how he feels about me at times.....
